Author Topic: This weeks joke  (Read 89451 times)

Offline TC

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #810 on: May 11, 2020, 22:40 »
"and you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?"
Gold Yogi  :laugh: :laugh:
Most of that will polish out...

Offline Gerald

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #811 on: May 12, 2020, 15:13 »
 :-X
__o
_- \_<,
(*) /' (*)

Offline paulincayman

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #812 on: May 16, 2020, 00:54 »
Doctor: So what's your most successful method for  going to sleep?
Patient: I lay down right on the edge of the bed.........I drop off pretty soon.  :laugh:

Offline orionengnr

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #813 on: May 17, 2020, 04:05 »
Okay, I made it to page 38, this entry...
True story ....... an airline pilot accidently "hot miked" ..... ie, spoke to his cojo casually but accidently hit the transmit button ...... and when he realized it he said"fuck" just before he killed the transmit.  Big pause on the radio and then ATC came on and said "Who Said FUCK?". Again a big pause and then some quick thinking Air Canada pilot answered "So and So Center ..... this is Air Canada 123 .... Negative on the FUCK." After that every aircraft that could also chimed in with the "Negative on the FUCK" as by asking and using the word Fuck, ATC had cleared them to use it as a response. I got this from two Air Canada pilots ..... one who was airborne at the time but out of range ...... the story spread quickly on the company frequency.

Back when I was in USN flight training (1979) I heard the following story from an instructor:

Student and instructor were in a T-44 (Beech King Air) flying out of NAS Kingsville TX. They were well inland over flat, nondescript desert.  The instructor kept the student busy doing turns and maneuvers, and eventually pulled back one power lever, and directed the student to head for the nearest available field and land. 

Flustered, the student failed to dial up NAS Kingsville (or anything else) on the TACAN and point the a/c in that direction. When the instructor asked where the field was, the student unwittingly pushed the PTT switch forward instead of aft (transmitting on VHF instead of ICS), and said, "Sir, honestly I have no fucking idea where I am".

TRACON came back immediately... "Aircraft using profanity on frequency, identify yourself."

The instructor looked over at the student, placed one finger to his lips, paused a beat, then transmitted:

"He said he was fucking lost. He didn't say he was fucking stupid."

Never did find out who that instructor was, but forty years later, I'd buy him a beer any day.
 

Offline Is2

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #814 on: May 24, 2020, 00:19 »
Grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink,

Bartender "we got a drink named after you "

Grasshopper "What Kevin?"

Offline Legs

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #815 on: May 24, 2020, 02:00 »
 :laugh:

Offline drikko

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #816 on: May 24, 2020, 06:19 »
Hopefully no ones posted this yet....


Rgs1000 '83
Weestrom
Cosi prefers sailors
Breville Sandwich Maker

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was sober so please don't take it personally.
'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.' Oscar Wilde

Online mcnicol

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #817 on: May 25, 2020, 20:05 »
Chris, too late, somebody posted it a couple of weeks ago.
1978 Jota. New Redax crank, Ross 1200 pistons.

Offline Cosi

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #818 on: May 26, 2020, 11:08 »
Dereck... a real dick
Hastings Point 2489 Australia

Offline Yogi

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #819 on: May 26, 2020, 12:19 »
Yogi

1973 750 SF1 #15300
1974 750 SF2 #16555
1979 600 Barcelona Replica
1981 1200 Mirage #3341
1988 OR600 Atlas Series 3
1972 Yamaha TR3/TZB 350

Offline Gerald

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #820 on: May 26, 2020, 13:12 »
 ;D
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Offline helicopterjim

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #821 on: May 26, 2020, 18:49 »
;D

Actually atrue story from Watson Lake, Yukon. The mechanic knocked himself out cold.

Jim
74 SFC
72 SF
74 3C
75 3C
79 (81) Formula Mirage 1200
Various Ducati's, Guzzi's, Puch's ... a BSA Sloper and maybe even an R90
I don't have a 1977 Honda XL 175 but I do have a Chang Jiang CJ750 with a sidecar.

Lone Butte, British Columbia

Offline Shajota

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #822 on: May 28, 2020, 09:43 »
 ;)
PETER