Author Topic: This weeks joke  (Read 3417 times)

Offline SimonR501

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #225 on: December 05, 2017, 11:44 »
Hmmmm? When Brexit finally comes in, will all the German and Greek bits of the Royal Family have to leave? Let alone the Russian, Dutch, French etc etc etc.
It wasn't all about foreigners, some just want to get back control of their own country.

Watch this space! We have got one leg over the wall after they discovered our tunnel.
It might turn out to be a 'Hotel California' Brexit yet (you can check out any time you like but you can never leave).
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Offline Gravelroad

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #226 on: December 05, 2017, 12:40 »
How to convert your coach bus into a cabriolet in less than 1 second, Berlin style: http://www.spiegel.de/panorama/flixbus-in-berlin-bruecke-rasiert-fernbus-das-dach-ab-a-1181745.html

 :laugh:


Offline Hunter

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #228 on: December 08, 2017, 03:04 »
This bridge is in Durham NC not too far from home, the videos of the dim drivers are just mesmerizing. There is a warning system in place but some people can't be helped.

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Offline chrisk

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #229 on: December 08, 2017, 04:20 »
Funny thing.... this thread says it was started by me.... it wasn't, it was MadLiz, how did that happen? Curious.
The initial attraction to motorcycling inflicts people for various reasons and at different stages in their lives. But once someone experiences the elation of riding a motorcycle there’s no denying the nearly spiritual effect it has.

Offline Legs

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #230 on: December 08, 2017, 04:20 »
I got pulled over by the Police at 02:00 this morning and they asked me what I was doing out at this time of the morning. I told him I was on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, smoking, gambling, and staying out late. He reckons I was bullshiting and asked me who was giving this lecture. I looked at him straight in the eye and said my wife.

Offline Legs

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #231 on: December 08, 2017, 04:34 »
A group of Harley riders were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. They got their ladders and tape measures and went out to the flagpole. However, the measurement job turned out to be much more difficult than any of them had expected, with some of them falling off the ladders, some dropping their tape measures and so on, and the whole thing had just turned into a big disaster.
After a while, a Laverda rider happened to walk by and saw what the Harley riders were attempting to do. He walked over, pulled the flagpole out of the ground, and laid it flat on the ground. The Laverda rider measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the Harley riders and then walked away without saying a word.
After the Laverda rider was out of sight, one Harley riders turned to another and laughed as he shook his head. "Now that's just like a Laverda rider! We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"

Offline chrisk

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #232 on: December 08, 2017, 04:51 »
A group of Harley riders were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. They got their ladders and tape measures and went out to the flagpole. However, the measurement job turned out to be much more difficult than any of them had expected, with some of them falling off the ladders, some dropping their tape measures and so on, and the whole thing had just turned into a big disaster.
After a while, a Laverda rider happened to walk by and saw what the Harley riders were attempting to do. He walked over, pulled the flagpole out of the ground, and laid it flat on the ground. The Laverda rider measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the Harley riders and then walked away without saying a word.
After the Laverda rider was out of sight, one Harley riders turned to another and laughed as he shook his head. "Now that's just like a Laverda rider! We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"

 :laugh: Cam could have given them a table.
The initial attraction to motorcycling inflicts people for various reasons and at different stages in their lives. But once someone experiences the elation of riding a motorcycle there’s no denying the nearly spiritual effect it has.

Offline LJ

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #233 on: December 08, 2017, 18:09 »
 ;D ;D
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Offline Richard 180.S2

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #234 on: December 09, 2017, 10:58 »
We've heard colleagues referring to people with "Guts" or with "Balls" .

Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the "Guts" to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the "Balls" to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I trust this clears up any confusion.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in prognosis; both are fatal.
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Offline Shajota

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #235 on: December 09, 2017, 13:02 »
We've heard colleagues referring to people with "Guts" or with "Balls" .

Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the "Guts" to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the "Balls" to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I trust this clears up any confusion.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in prognosis; both are fatal.

Balls you say.... :o :o

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Offline Mozz

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #236 on: December 10, 2017, 13:56 »
I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle,
bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
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Offline chrisk

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #237 on: December 10, 2017, 23:35 »
I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle,
bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

 :laugh:
The initial attraction to motorcycling inflicts people for various reasons and at different stages in their lives. But once someone experiences the elation of riding a motorcycle there’s no denying the nearly spiritual effect it has.

Offline MotoJouni

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #238 on: December 11, 2017, 01:19 »
Guess what the man is doing on the Paioli logo.
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Offline chrisk

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #239 on: December 11, 2017, 02:18 »
Guess what the man is doing on the Paioli logo.


The initial attraction to motorcycling inflicts people for various reasons and at different stages in their lives. But once someone experiences the elation of riding a motorcycle there’s no denying the nearly spiritual effect it has.