Author Topic: This weeks joke  (Read 26690 times)

Offline SimonR501

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #375 on: February 22, 2018, 17:19 »
I don't know Lawrence!
You sleep with one goat and that's it!
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Offline helicopterjim

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #376 on: February 22, 2018, 17:24 »
Happens a lot to morticians as well.
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Offline Shajota

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #377 on: February 22, 2018, 22:08 »
Hmmmmm, maybe??
PETER

Offline chrisk

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #378 on: February 22, 2018, 22:21 »
Happens a lot to morticians as well.

It shouldn't anymore: Necrophilia is fucking dead  ;)
The initial attraction to motorcycling inflicts people for various reasons and at different stages in their lives. But once someone experiences the elation of riding a motorcycle thereís no denying the nearly spiritual effect it has.

Offline drikko

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #379 on: February 23, 2018, 21:03 »
While riding my bike yesterday, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, ďGet in and Iíll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.Ē
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, Iím a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs Iíve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my bike, I guess."
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DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was sober so please don't take it personally.
'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.' Oscar Wilde

Offline drikko

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #380 on: February 23, 2018, 23:04 »
After 20 years of marriage, a couple were lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past thesmall of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh,stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

He said, "I found the remote".
Rgs1000 '83
Triumph Sprint ST1050
Cosi prefers crow eaters....
Breville Sandwich Maker

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was sober so please don't take it personally.
'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.' Oscar Wilde

Offline drikko

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #381 on: February 25, 2018, 21:20 »
Groan
Rgs1000 '83
Triumph Sprint ST1050
Cosi prefers crow eaters....
Breville Sandwich Maker

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was sober so please don't take it personally.
'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.' Oscar Wilde

Offline Davo

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #382 on: February 26, 2018, 07:27 »
You have to love Australian politics and how the National Party pick their leaders

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Offline chrisk

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #383 on: February 26, 2018, 23:47 »
 :o That's a surprise, I thought it was by raffle.
The initial attraction to motorcycling inflicts people for various reasons and at different stages in their lives. But once someone experiences the elation of riding a motorcycle thereís no denying the nearly spiritual effect it has.

Offline Davo

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #384 on: February 27, 2018, 01:25 »
:o That's a surprise, I thought it was by raffle.

By the sound of it, the biggest most accomplished wanker got the job  :laugh:
1976 3CL Redaxed
Triumph Sprint
Moto Guzzi Le Mans III 850 Stucchi
Honda V Twin Fastrak hustler

Offline Legs

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #385 on: February 27, 2018, 02:52 »
Well that's it, the future of the murray water distribution is in the hands of NSW. Poor bloody SA. >:(

Online Gerald

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #386 on: February 27, 2018, 11:52 »
just for you, Drikko :P



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Offline Andy

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #387 on: February 27, 2018, 18:44 »
 :laugh:
What a load of rubbish, I've been using the same blinker fluid for years. You just need to do a regular backwash by reversing the polarity...
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(might have to sell the old honda...)

Offline drikko

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #388 on: February 27, 2018, 20:29 »
:laugh:
What a load of rubbish, I've been using the same blinker fluid for years. You just need to do a regular backwash by reversing the polarity of the flux capacitor.

FTFY
Rgs1000 '83
Triumph Sprint ST1050
Cosi prefers crow eaters....
Breville Sandwich Maker

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was sober so please don't take it personally.
'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.' Oscar Wilde

Offline GregT

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Re: This weeks joke
« Reply #389 on: February 28, 2018, 00:24 »
Well that's it, the future of the murray water distribution is in the hands of NSW. Poor bloody SA. >:(

Swap you the new leader of our National Party - Slimeon Bridges...